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09 January, 2013

Speaking of MRA's...

From what little I've seen from the very moderate MRA's in the Slymepit, there are a few things that one would think feminists would be on board with. For example, the "superwoman" myth that a mother should be able to balance childrearing and a career without breaking a sweat. Or how about the "culture of victimhood" that is prevalent with some women? Feminism deny this, yet its true. Some women love to bare the scars of their past and compare them in one-up battles.

Also, feminism has perpetuated the myth that women are inherently good and gentle and never behave badly. When a woman murders her children, there's an automatic sense that something must have gone terribly wrong because who can imagine a mother doing that? Our media follows these court cases around the nation for months asking "Why?" Andrea Yates, Casey Anthony, Susan Smith. A man kills his children and it's reported for a few days on the local news. There were people on Hemant Mehta's blog defending Nate Phelp's mom because she "was probably being abused" and that's why she didn't contact her son after all these years. I listened to an entire podcast interview of Phelps and while yes, it was an abusive environment, he didn't indicate that his mother held views any different from that of his father. Women are people, too.

They also have some points to make that many feminists won't agree with, but should. A man should have a right to tell a woman before the third trimester (the cut-off for an abortion) that he doesn't want any parental responsibility and that he should be absolved of all responsibility. After all, he can't have an abortion if he's not ready to have kids. The woman would then be able to decide if she can really raise the child on her own. If she can't, she's got time to think about it and have an abortion if that's what she chooses.

Child support. When my parents split, my dad took care of all three of his girls for the months my mom was couch-surfing and finding her own apartment (my mom chose to leave. Long, complicated story). My little sister moved in with her maybe a year later. He still had two girls, me and my sister, living with us. My big sister moved out and I still lived with my dad. My mother had remarried. The combined income of her and her new husband would have exceeded my dad's. He never asked for child support. When he moved four years after the divorce, he was leaving a foreclosure and drug habit he had picked up. Because he was moving far and staying with a friend, I had to move in with my mom. She told him not to worry about child support until he got back on his feet. She took him to court a few months later when she got mad at him for something and asked for arrears for that time. She got it. They attached his wages. The courts never considered all the time my mom hadn't given my dad anything after she dumped us off on him to go "find herself." Shit like this ought to stop. If a "feminist" only wants everyone to be treated equally, she should be on board with a fair family court.

There are some things I don't like about MRA's. This idea that men have to be a certain kind of macho or they are just "emasculated white nights." They perpetuate a myth that if a man isn't standing up to his woman, she's walking all over him, treating him bad and taking away his manhood. It's silly. I'm pretty solidly against people being pressured into gender roles. Christianity pulls that shit. I'm all for men who want to be macho being macho, but don't shame other men for not living up to that. It's the MRA equivalent of slut shaming.

So those are just my thoughts. I identify as a humanist, period, but I won't discuss the MRA issue further on this blog.

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